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And why you should be doing it amidst the Coronavirus madness.

COVID-19 has thrown us a curve ball the likes of which we, as a society, have never before seen.

The widespread advice right now is to stay home unless absolutely necessary. Schools have closed. Mass social gatherings have been cancelled. Many have voluntarily self quarantined.

Just like a healthy diet, exercise can contribute to general good health and therefore to a healthy immune system. It may contribute even more directly by promoting good circulation, which allows the cells and substances of the immune system to move through the body freely and do their job efficiently. — Harvard Health Publishing

Aside from avoiding large gatherings, not touching our faces, and washing our hands a lot; investing in a strong immune system is one of the best precautionary measures we can take.

The workout:

*Note: I’ve provided links to very brief, easy to understand tutorials of every exercise you may not have heard of before; simply click on their names.

  • Y-Handcuffs — 10 reps
  • Isometric push up — 20–30 sec. hold at the top position
  • Isometric push up — 20–30 sec. hold at the bottom position *chest hovering just above the ground*
  • Push ups — As many good reps as possible

Source : Medium

There’s one big secret, right in front of you.

When I was 19, a guy placed his hand on my cheek at a New Year’s Eve party and told me I was beautiful. He did that after about 20 minutes of flirting, to underscore his intentions.

It was a bold move —but it worked. Later that night we sat outside in the grass, holding hands and kissing.

The point of this story isn’t that you should walk up to girls and put your hand on their face and tell them they’re beautiful.

It’s something else:

There’s no single right way to ask someone out. There’s lots of ways — and only a few of them are wrong (because they’re illegal). Some suit your personality, and some don’t.

Dating apps have made everyone a little spoiled. We don’t invest anymore. We swipe. We think it makes dating easier.

But it doesn’t, not really.

It leads to swiping sickness. You look for love on your phone, when it could be right in front of you.

You rely on an algorithm to decide if you’re minimally compatible, and you wind up dehumanizing the most important step of a relationship — actually telling someone how you feel about them.

You put more thought into your connection to that person. If you’ve just met — you spend more time observing them, and listening. You have to make a decision, and a real commitment.

You have to deal with ambiguities, uncertainties, anticipation… You actually have to decide if the possibility of being with them is worth the hurt of hearing no. You have to summon confidence. And you have to make yourself vulnerable for a minute.

The word sure means something.

By comparison, swiping on someone is easy. You can swipe on 12 chicks in one night. Hey, dating apps work for lots of people. But they’ll never work for everyone. And if all you do is swipe-swipe-swipe, or wait to be swiped on, you’re taking a passive approach.

You’re missing out on the little nuances of human interaction that make a relationship in the first place.

When you swipe, you don’t really earn your first date. So you take it for granted. You almost waste it. You think, “If this doesn’t work out, there’s 23 other matches in my zip code.”

A date is more than an audition for sex.

There’s no such thing as an indirect approach. And yet, loads of guys (and girls) cling to it. Here’s the thing, you can’t trick someone into a date. Hiding your intentions just confuses things.

Almost anything counts as a date if you ask the right way. Don’t say, “Let’s meet up for coffee sometime.” You do that with work pals. If you want to go out with a girl, then say, “Can I take you out for coffee next Friday?” Or you say, “What are you doing this weekend?”

The direct approach doesn’t always get a direct answer. You have to deal with a polite dodge. If she tells you she’s busy and leaves it at that, she’s not playing hard to get. She’s not interested.

Maybe directness sounds a little dull. You’d rather establish a kind of rapport with someone first. You want to see how quick-witted they are. You want to see if your personalities match.

That’s fine — it’s why you flirt.

Everyone eventually flirts. All flirting comes down to is joking around with someone you want to have sex with. Some of us don’t really start flirting until midway through a date.

Others want to flirt before the date even starts.

It makes sense. When you joke with someone, you’re finding little ways to upset their expectations, which means you have to find out what those expectations are. You have to learn about them. Flirting is a fun way to build up to a date. If they joke back, it usually means they’re into you. If they don’t, then you should probably stop messing with them. They either don’t like you, or they’re not your type.

I’ve seen guys and girls ask someone out with barely a word. They see each other, and they just know.

They walk right up and hand you their phone number. They smile at you and hold your eyes on their way out the door.

You call them and set up a date — maybe coffee, or a drink. You either chat for a few minutes, or an hour. Great relationships start this way, even if they don’t always work out in the end.

The only wrong approach is one that makes you feel uncomfortable, or one that violates someone’s consent.

You never just ask someone out with your words — you do it with your eyes and face, and your shoulders.

Be inviting and confident, but not pushy. Just like you can’t trick someone into a date, you can’t intimidate or guilt anyone into one either. Some guys out there literally beg for love, or preemptively shame women for giving out fake phone numbers. That’s not cool.

A fake phone number or a lame excuse is the same thing as a no. It just means she was scared, and probably for a good reason.

Touching a girl’s face or hair after twenty minutes of conversation is about as bold as anyone should ever get.

If she doesn’t like it, she’ll let you know pretty quick. Don’t defend or justify yourself. Just apologize and leave her alone. Not every girl is a 19-year-old waiting to be swept off her feet on New Year’s Eve.

Maybe dating apps have killed the subtle art of asking someone out. But you can bring it back. It’ll be good for you.

Source : Medium

How it happened and what it taught me.

I didn’t know what negging was until I told a female friend this story.

After telling her the short version, she said, “That is negging Sean. It isn’t nice.”

Then I had to ask her what negging meant. After she explained it, I had to press rewind and explain that my “negging” wasn’t intentional.

If you don’t know, negging is when a guy acts like a jerk to a girl just to get her to like him. It often involves putting a woman down or being crass. It’s a common tactic by younger men, with egos and something to prove, but a few of them do it well in adulthood.


My Trip To Bizarro Land

Katie invited me to meet her out with a group of friends.

I arrived at this bar/restaurant, which was large, high-end and ornately decorated.

The bar is somewhat known to be the type of place where younger women and older men with money tend to mingle. Honestly, I had no business being there as I was neither. But I was bored. And Katie was kind enough to include me.

I walked into this establishment, and it was fairly crowded, with lots of people holding brightly colored drinks in fancy glasses. Everyone was dressed in cocktail attire.

I walked over to meet up with the group, who were sitting in a dimly lit corner in the patio area. There were eight of them. Five women. Three men. One was a younger guy, who was dating Katie. The other two were older gentlemen, who were bankrolling the evening.

I sat down on a couch with them. Katie introduces me to her friend Rachel, who is the subject of this story, and sitting to my left. Immediately, I recognize Rachel. Why? Because I’d seen her Tinder profile only a day prior.

We exchange greetings and proceed to hang out for a bit, Everyone is talking. I was getting free drinks from the older gentleman who was quite generous. They were two business executives from Canada who were in town for meetings here in Tampa.

An hour or two goes by. We are a few drinks in. We have a nice buzz. There is good, chill music playing and we are having a good time. And then we stray to the topic of online dating, dating profiles, and people we’d met online. It is a rich topic for discussion.

I don’t know how we got to it. And I don’t know what possessed me to say this, but I said to Rachel, “Oh yeah! I think I saw your Tinder profile the other day!”

And that is when I stepped into a trap I set for myself.

Without missing a beat Rachel smiled and said, “Oh yeah? And did you swipe right!?” (right means yes on Tinder).

Before I could even speak, my face inadvertently grimaced, betraying my answer: I had not swiped yes on her profile. I’m a terrible liar. It’s a blessing and a curse. Tonight it was a curse.

Rachel was definitely pretty. But she just wasn’t my type.

And oh boy, if you could have seen her face in the instant that I grimaced. She did this open mouth smile that was filled with astonishment.

“You — didn’t swipe yes?!” as if she was incredulous that I had the audacity to do such a thing.

And from there, I was playing defense, full backpedal. Me, mister “I can’t lie”, was now lying to cover my tracks, “Well — I knew…you were…. close friends with Katie and all..”

I told you I am bad at lying.

But I was scrambling and felt bad. I could have just been honest but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Though it seemed more like I had hurt her ego more.

Here is the crazy thing.

She was indignant but it was the flirtiest indignation you could ever see. From that point forward, this woman was all up in my business. And I don’t say that with any sort of bravado. It wasn’t by design.

Through the remainder of the night, she jokingly brought my left swipe up, oh, I’ll say a dozen or so times.

“Oh but I’m not hot enough to swipe right on?”

“Oh well, would you swipe right on her?”

In some bizarro-land reality, telling her I swiped left her was the sexiest thing she’d ever heard. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the attention and even the hazing. But it was still crazy to watch that switch.

Even if I did neg her, it was the softest definition of such a thing. If anything, I was just answering a question.


Making Sense Of It All

In practice, negging is mean spirited and preys on people’s insecurities. And even more, it’s a total playground tactic, like throwing sand on the girl you like. But hey, I suppose there is a market for everything these days.

I will say, my experience at that bar did provide an interesting contrast to the times where I was pulling out all the stops, being charming, making reservations, trying to be sweet and funny — but really, just chasing a woman who was only mildly interested, only to watch her slip through my fingers.

And then there I was seeing a woman shapeshift when she found out I swiped left on her.

If anything it is a testament to the importance of keeping it cool when you are in the initial stages of dating. Don’t be slapping your knee and laughing at everything the other person says.

Coming off as overly interested will make you seem like a low-value prospect like you don’t have many equitable options. Take the edge off your pursuit. Dangle a bit of ambiguity; it is like jet fuel to the attraction.

But I wouldn’t go so far as to go around telling women you swiped left on their Tinder profile. It would be mean. It only worked for me because I was being authentic.

And because I felt like a trapped animal.

Source : Medium

Being organised isn’t just a habit; it’s a way of life.

Staying organized can be a real challenge in today’s technological age when it’s become nearly impossible to unplug. As challenging as getting and staying organized can be, it’s a critical component of personal efficiency and productivity.

While certain people seem to have effortless, calm days, others rush through their days, weeks and even months in a whirl of bleary-eyed chaos. If you’re interested in improving your organisational skills, some of these time-saving, energy-reducing, life-enhancing habits can help you run your days more smoothly.


1. Protect Your Time Fiercely

Good time management skill is an asset when it comes to staying organized. When you organize your time on any scale, you automatically create order.

“Time is what we want most, but what we spend worst.”

William Penn said that. It’s profound and very true. There are lots of ways to slice your working hours every day. 8 hours is a lot of time you may be spending on too many things that have little or no value to your long-term goal —low-value meetings, reacting to urgent but unimportant emails, social browsing, responding to notifications etc.

Time management works on a weekly basis when you’re making important plans and establishing recurring events. It works on a monthly basis when you’re deciding where you need to be and when. It also works on an annual basis when you’re planning which events to attend, or when to start a new habit.

A little bit of organization can go an incredibly long way toward increasing effectiveness, boosting productivity, and creating new habits that foster the efficiency you crave.


2. Have a Place For Everything — and Put it There

Highly organized people strongly adhere to the “a place for everything and everything in its place” philosophy, which makes it much easier to stay organized. They are habitual declutterers.

Decide where your keys will go and put them in the same place every time you walk through the door.

Store away summer clothes in winter to declutter your closets. Declutter your drawers and get rid of everything you don’t need to make room for things you’ll actually need and use.

“Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard all the rest. By doing this, you can reset your life and embark on a new lifestyle,” recommends Marie Kondō, author of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.

“I recommend you dispose of anything that does not fall into one of three categories: currently in use, needed for a limited period of time, or must be kept indefinitely,” she writes in her book.

By getting rid of, or storing away, things you only use occasionally (or things you never use but can’t seem to part with), you create instant organization. That’s because you know where the things you really, truly use are and that automatically makes them easier to find when you need them.


3. Make Time for High-Value Priorities

What are the priorities in your life? Organised people block their priorities — relationships, personal development, career growth, financial goals, healthy habits etc. Everyone’s priority list is different but the same concept can be used to make time for the most important things in your life.

With a printed calendar (versus the one on your phone) you can create a colour-coded, time blocked schedule that keeps everyone and everything in your world organized.

Time blocks also help you schedule downtime, dinner plans, and important client tasks. Need to beat a deadline? Schedule in five uninterrupted work hours. Have a repeating weekly event? Build a time block into your calendar. Need to just create daily routines?

Time blocks can help you do it. Learn to break your day, week, or month into valuable time blocks to improve your personal efficiency, increase your productivity and recover from your workload.


4. Purge Your Schedule to Build Efficient Routines

It can be tough to get things done when you feel as though your schedule is taking over your life. Purging your schedule once (monthly or quarterly) a while saves you time and helps you achieve your goals as planned.

The aim of a productivity purge is to reduce unnecessary repetition and improve your autopilot routines. It’s an opportunity to analyse every task or action, and identify items you can move around, delegate, slice, spread out, or even stop working on right away if it’s not helping you get closer to your goals.

“The productivity purge is a necessary piece of project gardening. By doing these regularly, you keep yourself focused on what’s important. You get at least one month after every purge in which serious work gets done on a small number of projects,” says Cal Newport, author of Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World.

It might seem irrelevant and unimportant to set aside time to pause and purge unnecessary tasks from your routine when you have a lot to do. But that time to analyse your routine, measure your results and make that important change may be the fresh start you need to get more done.


5. Have a Routine — Even On Nights and Weekends

How you spend your days is how you spend your life, which is why it’s so important to carve out daily routines. A life without a positive daily routine or structure is so much more draining mentally, physically, and emotionally than you can ever imagine!

To make the most of your day, develop a routine for when you awake, for when you first start working, for when you finish your workday, and for the end of your evening.

Whether you wake up 30 minutes before everyone else in your family, read important news every morning or workout at the same time after work, routines provide stability and organization to each day.

Routines predetermine your schedule, allowing you to use your time efficiently. They provide a sense of structure and familiarity. You wake up with a sense of ownership, order, and organization of your life.


6. Configure Your Phone to Work For You, Not Against You

Our phones connect us with people we love, help us work on the go, and make online purchases easier. But if not managed, your phone can work against you — notifications, badges, banners, games, inboxes and social media can create an environment of interruption and distraction.

But you can change that. That amazing little device gives us access to an incredible suite of organizational and productivity tools — use them to organise your life and work. Use your notes app to make shopping lists. Use your photo app to organize picture albums.

Use productivity apps to organize work. Use the calendar app to purge unnecessary tasks, block off time and organize your day. Almost every activity of your day-to-day life can be found in an app. Since your phone is going to be with you all day, anyway, make it work to your advantage.


7. Treat Emails Like Appointments

The business world runs on email. While communication is great for business, email can ruin your productivity if you don’t tame it. Beyond necessary communication (sending and responding to important emails that advance work), email can be just as much of a distraction as it is a great communication tool.

Learning when it’s productive to pay attention to email and when you should ignore it is a necessary skill. It’s counterproductive to check your inbox every five minutes. To defend your time from unnecessary emails, schedule time to check or respond to incoming emails. This keeps the incoming work in order while getting other tasks completed.

To tame the chaos, you need an ongoing process for managing incoming emails; prioritising and weighing the value of different messages appropriately and responding to them at the right time without interfering with your workflow.

In Gmail, you can create tabs that tell your emails where to go when you receive them. That little touch of organisation could mean you never have to see a spam email, again, except when you empty your email box. Many email providers have that same functionality and organization.

Another way to organize your email inbox is to have multiple email addresses. Multiple email addresses will allow you to have one email for work, one for entering contests and signing up for freebies, and one for whatever else you want. Since people communicate by email on an ever-increasing basis, you can save an incredible amount of time with this simple organization hack.

Finally, build email responses into those beneficial time blocks by opening emails only at certain times of the day and not allowing yourself to get sucked into the email rabbit hole over and over on a daily basis. You’d be surprised how much organization you can lose just by losing control of your time in small batches.


Highly organized people are crystal clear of what needs to be done, what has to be put away, what needs be automated or delegated. They don’t complicate things because confusion breeds chaos. If you are unclear about anything, it would reflect in your execution.

To keep your life organised, purge things daily and routinely — organising is should not be a separate event. It should be part of your day.


Source : Medium

Your problems are tied to wanting to feel good short term.

Your biggest hurdle in life?

Loss aversion. You’re wired to focus more on what you stand to lose than what you stand to gain. This is why becoming successful is so difficult.

Achieving the outcomes you want is often more about what you’re willing to give up as opposed to what you’re willing to do. If it weren’t for the need to make sacrifices, well then, we’d all be successful. Alas, this isn’t how the world works.

Per usual, I don’t have an airy and lighthearted motivational pep talk to give you — just cold reality.

Either you make the sacrifices or you don’t. Then, you see what happens with your life after that.

Here’s the thing, though. What looks like sacrifices on the front end, turn out to be investments when you look at them in hindsight. You give away something upfront, but the reward you get is worth much more than what you gave up in the first place. Good old boring delayed gratification for the win.

That’s all this self-help stuff is.

You know that. I’m just here as your constant reminder. Be willing to give these things up short term so you can win long-term.


Some Amount of Time

I used to wake up at 5 a.m. on an almost daily basis when I was building my writing career and had a full-time job at the same time. I never grew to like it. So how did I pull it off? I woke up early because I saw no other choice.

To focus on my purpose, I gave up time ‘having fun.’ Eventually, I realized that ‘sacrificing’ time wasn’t a sacrifice at all because I enjoyed the work I was doing.

I can’t remember the last time I binged watched a T.V. show. I don’t force myself to not watch a ton of T.V., I just don’t do it by default because I spend time doing other things — no moral objection to it.

That’s what will happen to you, too. You won’t have to try to stop wasting time. It’ll happen naturally. When you find something you’re compelled to work on, ‘fun’ tends to fade into your periphery.

Work becomes fun. You don’t have to cease all forms of escapism and leisure altogether, but you no longer have to do them to fill a void.

After you sacrifice some time upfront, though, you can get more of it on the backend. I don’t wake up at 5 a.m. anymore. I sleep in until a reasonable 7 or 8 a.m. Some days I work for two hours. Some days 14. I could hop on a plane and skip a week or two of work altogether. I get to choose what to do with my time.

The upfront sacrifice was worth it for me. Decide if it’ll be worth it for you.


Feeling Like You Fit In

I envy people who aren’t cursed with dreams and ambition.

I think to myself, “It must be nice to just fit in, go to happy hour with your buddies, do the same thing every weekend and not care, talk about the weather, think politics matters, and not have to question how you spend each moment of your day.”

There is a certain peace and upside to ‘quiet desperation.’ I sometimes long for it. On the whole, though, I prefer to keep doing what I’m doing which has an inevitable consequence for me — the same one it’ll have for you.

You won’t be able to relate to people as well. The more you level up, the more you’ll feel like it’s obvious that everyone else should. But most won’t. And you’ll burn energy trying to convert them. So don’t.

Do be willing to stand out and be your authentic self regardless of what anyone thinks. Be ready to deal with the blowback that comes with, too.

Ask yourself, do you really want to be a leader? Do you want to stand out? It’s up to you.

There’s a positive consequence of standing out, too. A certain group of people who watch you on the come up will be inspired by you and will gravitate toward you. They won’t take you seriously at first, but later they’ll want to ‘pick your brain.’ Welcome them into the fold and keep on keeping on with the same motto:

That’s it.

Short Term Feelings

‘Short term you’…sucks.

99.99 percent of your problems are tied to wanting to feel good short term.

Short term you’ wants to feel good at all times, but to get the long-term success you will have to experience moments of your life where you don’t feel good about yourself because you objectively suck at the new skill you’re trying to develop.

It’s crazy. Your whole life is a combination of making this short-sighted trade repeatedly — death by endless concessions, incessant hesitations, and small poor decisions that have a cumulative effect.

You can get carried away with putting off your present happiness for future long-term goals, but you don’t have that problem right now. When you have that problem, decide what to do with it. This goes back to the time thing — create time and opportunity to smell the roses later.

And most of what you do in the present moment for ‘short term you’ isn’t true presence, mindfulness, and enjoyment. It’s often a distraction you use to numb yourself.

When you get caught up in your short term feelings life just gets worse and harder. Your short term feelings put you into a groove. And you never want to be in a groove. The longer you get into that groove, stacking up those short-term concessions, the more nails you put into your coffin.

I sound harsh and cruel at times, but it’s only because it’s true. And it’s only because I care enough to tell you the truth.


Your Old Identity

You have an identity you’ve built up over a long period of time. Regardless of how well that identity is serving you, you don’t want to let go of it because it’s…you.

In reality, personalities are quite malleable. You can become an entirely different person, but not until you kill that old identity. And you will experience a grieving process after letting it go.

How many times have you uttered some iteration of this statement to yourself?

Recently, I’ve been traveling to different places across the country by myself to meet new people. Why? Because I want to get out of my comfort zone and rid myself of this idea that I’m an introvert.

Am I naturally introverted? Sure. But that doesn’t mean I’m an introvert. Anything that comes behind the words “I am” is an unnecessary label that’s holding you back in life.

Work on letting go of this idea that you’re some fixed entity incapable of behaving in a different way

You love having some level of certainty about your life. Even if your situation is shit, you can make sense of it. Letting go of that means your life will seem more chaotic. But here’s what you’ll come to understand — perceived chaos can be a training ground to become a much sharper, agiler, and savvy version of yourself.

Once you understand that your comfort zone simply isn’t a place you want to be at all, you can start creating an evolving sense of self that continually improves with each new challenge.

Speaking of.


Comfort Altogether

Just get rid of the notion of having a comfort zone ever again. Quit making it a goal.

Some people will reply with something along the lines of:

Clearly, duh, Mr or Ms ad absurdum, you don’t want to live a life where you have zero stability at all.

Coming home to the same domicile, having money in savings, and building a routine are all great and necessary elements to a life well-lived. But you have to avoid long stretches of comfort where none of the following things change:

  • Worldview — If your worldview is exactly the same years later, it means you’ve learned nothing new.
  • Problems — You can never rid yourself of problems, but want to have a different level of problems, higher quality problems, as you ascend in life.
  • Confidence — You never want to reach stasis in the confidence department. At some points, your confidence should grow while pushing yourself. At other points, you should challenge your confidence by looking for disconfirming evidence.

Why are you so desperately looking for an endpoint? Why do you want to be done so badly?

I thought all my problems would be solved if I could just pull this writing thing off. Didn’t work that way, at all. There was no sunset to ride off into. Turns out? I didn’t want one. I just got back in the dirt and started new projects because the journey is truly the entire goal, as corny as that sounds.

You don’t want the beach, the endless drinks, the infinite bank account, and zero worries. You think you do, but you don’t. Hell, after a week of vacation…you’re ready to go back to work.

In general, you want to build new projects and skills, from small things like hobbies to huge things like businesses. You want to face challenges that push you but don’t kill you, and ultimately look back at your life and say “Damn. How did I do that?”


Time With People Who Don’t Add Value to Your Life

You don’t have to cut out 100 percent of the people in your life who aren’t extremely focused, all-in on self-improvement, and totally aligned with every single core value you have, but I will say this.

The people you choose to have in your life, for better or worse, will have a dramatic impact on your life.

Is the goal to become machiavellian? No. The goal is to take the time to consciously think about the people you have in your life and realize that you’re going to have to sacrifice at least some of those relationships that are holding you back.

Maybe you’re the rare individual who has the perfect peer group, friends, relationships, and network. Odds are, though, you need to at minimum, reduce the amount of time you need to spend with certain people.

When I was heavily focused on my writing career, I stopped hanging out with my friends who drank a lot. Not because they were bad people, but because I knew I didn’t have the willpower to hang out with them and not get caught up in the same activities.

Structuring your environment is key to success. And often, subtraction improves your environment.


Your Number One Enemy

Read the book Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. This book has continued to grow on me and might be his best one. When you think about all the sacrifices required to live a successful life, they all tie back to sacrificing your ego:

  • Time — You’re afraid to ‘waste time’ on something that may or may not work, but that’s egotistical because you think you’re all-knowing and powerful enough to figure out what’s a good use of time before trying it. Clearly you’re not, else you’d have chosen and stuck with something by now.
  • Feeling like you fit in — What gets harmed if you don’t fit in? Your ego. Your little feelings. I use that phrase to pump myself up when I’m scared “Oh Ayo…are your little itty bitty feelings going to get hurt?” That’s all we’re scared of.
  • Short term feelings — This one is damn near self-explanatory. Sacrificing your future self for your current self is entirely ego-based.
  • Identity — Your ego wants you to cling to your identity because, deep down, your ego/monkey mind/lizard brain doesn’t care about your self-actualization at all. It just cares about keeping you safe and alive so you can have babies. Uncertainty and overexertion of your pre-frontal cortex are antithetical to your biological goals, so you must perform a “manual override” on the system.
  • Comfort zone — What is your comfort zone at its core? It’s your ego telling you a story that you deserve to feel good for no reason. And your fear of getting outside of your comfort zone, especially in situations that involve other people and facing rejection, is based on the idea that anyone actually cares what you’re doing, which they don’t.
  • People — Your savior complex, built by your ego, makes you think you can ‘save’ people that can’t be saved. Also, you’re arrogant enough to think you can overcome your environment, which you can’t.

Imagine you could move through the world ego-free. This doesn’t mean you lack confidence — quite the opposite. You’re able to just be yourself and work on the things that matter to you, without having to constantly ping off of others to define who you are.

That’s true freedom.

Is it an attainable goal? I don’t know.

Is it worthwhile? Without question.


Grab your free checklist here — The Ultimate Guide to Discovering Your Natural Talents and Strengths. Wanna keep in touch online? Follow me on Instagram here.

Source : Medium

To have a successful, productive day, it’s important to start it off the best way you can. Here are some tips!

I don’t know if it’s my creative sensibilities that have always drawn me to the night rather than the morning, but I always struggle to do anything productive in the first hour after I wake up.

So many mornings I wake up and do two uninspired things…

  • Check my phone, look at new e-mails and my social media feeds
  • Turn on the TV and watch the news for an hour, usually CBS This Morning

I’ve been lucky this semester to get teaching assignments in the afternoon, so my mornings have mostly been free seven days a week since August.

The problem with filling my life with screens for the first hour of the day is that it completely sucks away my productivity. I struggle to get inspired when I’ve been watching TV for too long in the morning and have been glued to my phone and have gotten pretty much nothing accomplished. It’s relaxing, I guess, but it doesn’t do a thing for my productivity.

In the last few days, I’ve tried to mix up my activities when I wake up, and I’ve finally started having much more success throughout the morning… and more productivity throughout the day!

Here are 9 things you should think about trying in the mornings to come…

Keep Screens Turned Off for 30-minutes

This is the main change I’ve made in the last week, and I’ve already noticed a huge difference in my attitude for the rest of the morning. We’re so wired to immediately check our phones, want to make sure we haven’t missed anything in those few hours we were asleep, and it’s a practice I’ve finally stopped.

I check one thing — my e-mails. Once every few weeks I have an e-mail in my inbox in the early morning I simply have to respond to for whatever reason, that I shouldn’t wait for. But I leave that deep dive into the social media feeds for later. For at least thirty minutes. It will all still be there in a half-hour, after all.

Give yourself a little bit of time after you wake up away from all the screens in our lives. We’re so pressed for time these days that a few minutes away from the screens first thing in the morning will do you a world of good!

Read

And for me, the most pleasurable way to start my day is reading physical books. Again, physical books, not E-readers! I keep at least three in my drawer beside my bed at all times, always rotating throughout the weeks. I told some friends recently that I read one book a week, and they were shocked. They asked me how. I said I read for at least thirty minutes after I wake up, and I usually read for thirty minutes in the bath at the end of the night.

One hour a day of reading, and I can usually get through one book a week, depending on its length. I’m not a fast reader at all. I actually read pretty slowly. But just like how writing a little bit every day can result in tons of words a year, reading a little bit every day can also allow you to read lots of great books throughout the year!

Better yet, reading is a great way to start your morning because it strengthens your mind. Instead of just mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds and watching the news and tons of commercials, you start the day feeding your mind, not destroying it. Reading is a great relaxer, and it’s a simply fantastic way to start your day!

Meditate

I went on a meditation hike for the first time in my life in September, and it was one of the most gloriously calming mornings I’ve spent in a long time. I walked with my mother through a forest and enjoyed short and long meditations throughout the hike. I was on cloud nine for the rest of the day.

I never meditate. I always feel like it’s a waste of time when actually, it will add to your time and boosts your productivity throughout your day. There are lots of meditations you can try. You can do it for just five or ten minutes if you’d like!

There are so many ways just in your bed you can find some inner peace before you conquer the craziness of your day. Finding something that calms you down first thing will help you for hours on end. Meditation is definitely something you should look into.

Drink Green Tea

Okay, okay, you can have coffee too of course, but I’ve always found a cup of green tea to be an excellent way to start my day. There are so many benefits to green tea. It’s such a healthy drink, and once you start drinking it every day, you really start to develop a taste for it. I kind of crave it now every morning, and I always notice a little boost to my mood after I drink it.

Now, a few things about green tea. I get nauseous if I drink it on an empty stomach, and it might make you nauseous too. It’s best to drink it with a little food. It doesn’t have to be a full breakfast if you don’t want it to be. It can be something small, like some fruit or a slice of toast with peanut butter. But do eat something with it if you can.

Also, keep in mind that green tea has caffeine, so you don’t want to drink too much of it. My advice is two cups a morning tops. Furthermore, be careful not to drink the tea when it’s too hot. I’ve actually read articles about how drinking too much hot tea day after day can damage your throat! So enjoy green tea in moderation, and make sure it’s lukewarm before you drink it.

Exercise

This is something I used to do all the time in the morning during my twenties, and I’ve tried, finally, to start it up again. For so long I found myself using the morning and afternoon to complete my tasks, like my writing and my teaching, and then I would go for a run or go to a gym in the early evening when all the major tasks have already been accomplished.

But you know what? It’s important to mix things up sometimes, and I’ve finally started taking my dogs on a few short runs in the morning lately rather than in the afternoon or evening. They’re always more energetic in the morning anyway, so it works out for all three of us!

You can do any kind of exercise you want. I personally love to go for a jog around the neighborhood. It’s free, it’s easy, you get some fresh air, and you can be out and back in thirty to forty minutes. My gym is a ten-minute drive away, so when I go to the gym, there’s an extra twenty minutes on top of the work-out session itself. Therefore I usually save the gym for the weekends and go for runs between Monday and Friday.

The important thing about exercising in the morning is that it will benefit you for the rest of the day in more ways than one. Exercising first thing will keep you fit physically and mentally. It will get you excited for the day to come. It will get you motivated to be more productive for the rest of the morning and throughout the day!

Take a Shower and Put On Fresh Clothes

This is one of the easiest things you can do, and it’s one of the most helpful! As a writer, I have lots of days where I sit around the house in my pajamas and write, write, write, sometimes until 4 pm or 5 pm before I go for a jog and take a shower. My thinking is that I’m going to exercise later, so why take two showers in my day? I’m not going anywhere, so I’ll just stay in my PJs.

The thing is that how you feel reflects on what you’re going to accomplish throughout the day. And there’s something about being in your PJs that gives you a feeling of worthlessness, as unemployed, as being lazy. Even if you’re not lazy.

Taking a shower and putting on fresh clothes tells yourself that you’re here, you’re present, and you’re going to kick the shit out of the day the best you can. You’re showing up for yourself, not lounging around in your PJs for hours and hours.

Write for Five Minutes Straight

This goes for writers and non-writers. This one goes for everyone! Writing is such a therapeutic activity. You get to put your thoughts down, you get to work through your ideas, it allows you to be as creative as you want to be.

One thing I love to do in the morning is to grab my little red notebook from my desk drawer and write for five minutes straight. Sometimes that five minutes of writing is putting ideas down for a new story. Sometimes it’s putting down in as much detail as possible a weird dream I just had. Often it’s just writing to write!

Freewriting, always the best. Because there’s never a wrong answer. It’s just a way to put ideas down. You don’t even have to read over your work when those five minutes are up. Put the notebook away, and then maybe in the evening pull it back up and see what you wrote. Sometimes it’s jibberish that doesn’t amount to much, but sometimes there will be a nugget in there that will be helpful and inspiring!

Cuddle With Your Pets

I can’t tell you the difference my two Goldendoodles have made in my life this past year. They are the sweetest things ever. They love to play, love to cuddle. And never more so than first thing in the morning in bed. How lucky are we to have dogs in the first place, am I right?

Sure, my dogs get into trouble sometimes (they ripped up one of my favorite books last week in the backyard, gasp!), but for the most part, they are pure love, and cuddling with them first thing in the morning is a great start to my day.

Don’t feel like you have to make an excuse if all you want to do for twenty minutes is cuddle with your pet. It’s always important to start each day in a positive way, and what’s more positive than having loving animals at your side?

Eat Dessert First

One more excuse you shouldn’t have to make? Eating dessert first thing! We’re so programmed to eat a certain kind of thing for breakfast, a certain kind of thing for lunch. And of course, you’re programmed to save that special sweet for the end of your day.

Sure, I love to have some dessert at the end of a long day. It’s so relaxing to enjoy a tasty dinner, then follow it up with something chocolatey, something savory. I try to be good. I try to alternate my desserts between healthy and not so healthy. I try not to go completely nuts with my sweets.

But one final thing you should do when you wake up and eat dessert first. No, don’t have a giant bowl of ice cream or a slice of caramel swirl cheesecake. But a little something sweet on the mouth can fill you with joy, and what’s wrong with that? Some of my favorites for the morning — a piece of dark chocolate, a chocolate-covered strawberry, or bananas foster style.

That last dessert almost works as a breakfast because it’s actually fairly healthy, mixing low-fat cottage cheese with sliced bananas and 100% maple syrup. It’s important not to weigh yourself down first thing in the morning. You want to feel your best. So find something sweet that makes you happy, that makes you feel good, and then you’re well on your way!

Do What Works Best for You

Don’t feel like you need to attempt all nine of these things in the first hour of your day. You could certainly try (I might even try it in the days to come), but it might be too overwhelming.

Instead, I would pick three or four of these and try to attempt at least one of them each morning. Try one for a few days, then switch over to something else if you’d like. Maybe blend two or three of them. And see how you feel. See what feels right, what makes you most inspired, most productive.

That first hour after waking up is absolutely crucial to the success of your day. Give some of these things a try… and see what works best for you!

Source: Medium

The time for being selfish is over

ollege kids on spring break in Miami. Your retired parents insisting they can still go out to lunch. Millennials throwing quarantine parties. Despite the scary Covid-19 projections, shelter-in-place orders, and all the talk of flattening the curve, some people still aren’t getting how serious the novel coronavirus is — and that they play an important part in keeping themselves and the rest of their community safe.

Here are five facts to send to your most stubborn or science-averse friend or family member to get them to finally — finally — listen.

  1. People are contagious very early on in the infection, potentially even before they’re symptomatic. A study conducted by researchers in Germany found that nine people infected with the novel coronavirus were shedding huge amounts of the virus — thousands to millions of copies — as early as Day One of their infection, when they had only mild, cold-like symptoms. In fact, virus levels in the nose and throat were highest on that first day and declined in the days after. This suggests that infected people are shedding the virus even before they are symptomatic.
  2. It can take up to 11 days for symptoms to appear after infection. Research has shown that the median incubation period is five days. That means some people will develop symptoms sooner and some will develop them later. The study also reported that only 2.5% of people showed symptoms two days after exposure, and 97.5% of people were symptomatic after 11 days. This means that if you’ve come into contact with someone who has the virus, you need to quarantine for the full 14 days to be safe. This timeframe is especially important because you can be highly contagious during this time and not even know it (see point above).
  3. The virus lives on surfaces for up to three days. In an experiment, scientists created an aerosol that contained the novel coronavirus to mimic how it would be spread by a sneeze, a cough, or an exhale. Then, they sprayed that aerosol onto different surfaces to see how long the virus could survive. On copper, the virus was detectable for up to four hours, on cardboard for up to 24 hours, and on plastics and stainless steel for two to three days. This means that objects can remain contaminated for a much longer time, and people can become infected with the virus if they touch the object and then touch their face. You can also get infected if you inhale a sick person’s sneeze, cough, or exhale.
  4. The rate of the infection is growing exponentially. The WHO estimates the infection rate for the novel coronavirus is between 2 and 2.5, meaning that every person who gets sick will infect another two or three people. At that pace, the number of people with the virus will double every six days. This rate has led epidemiologists to predict that 40% to 70% of the population could contract the virus if extreme social distancing measures aren’t taken.
  5. It’s not just old people who are getting seriously sick. A lot of young people have blown off the risk of Covid-19 because most of the deaths have been reported in people over the age of 60. However, a new report by the CDC found that in the U.S., 38% of people who were hospitalized for Covid-19 were between the ages of 20 and 54, and 12% of ICU beds were taken up by people aged 20 to 44 years. Even if the virus doesn’t kill you as a young person, it can still make you very sick.

This information doesn’t mean you should panic, but you do need to take the pandemic seriously. Everyone has a responsibility — not only to protect themselves, but to protect their friends, family, neighbors, and community. You don’t want to be a vector for the virus, and the best way to curb the outbreak is to strictly practice social distancing.

Source : Medium

And how to avoid them

The first thing my new boss did was mistake me for a student. It took almost ten minutes to convince him I was really a professor. The rest of our meeting didn’t go very well.

I left his office feeling diminished.

It was the beginning of an ugly relationship, one where I tried time and again to like him more and see things from his point of view. More and more, I just had to start going over his head.

I had to stop caring if I embarrassed him. Being nice just didn’t work. Neither did trying to reboot our rapport.

I had to start channeling my mean girl.

They say respect isn’t given — it’s earned. That’s half true. Everyone starts out with a base line of respect. From there, you can go up or down depending on how you treat everyone else.

Respect works like a lot of things. You build it from taking steps forward, but also by catching yourself from common missteps.

So here’s what to avoid.

Making assumptions about them

The biggest mistake you can ever make with someone is to underestimate them, and then voice what you’re thinking. Plenty of people ruin their first impression by guessing that someone’s beneath them, and then treating them like an inferior — while laying on the fake charm.

You can’t avoid assumptions completely. But what you can do is assume the best about someone. Assume they’re smarter, more experienced, and more qualified than you are.

It’s always easier to adjust down than up. When you first meet someone, always pretend they might be your boss.

Don’t treat someone like a rookie just because they didn’t walk in bragging about their latest accomplishments.

If you’re going to assume anything, assume there’s much more to them than meets the eye. Find out what that is.

Doing a 180 without explaining it

Nothing demolishes someone’s respect for you like saying one thing and then doing the exact opposite. This goes double if you pull this move without warning someone, or even acknowledging your reversal.

This is one of the most basic foundations of friendship and cooperation, and yet we flout it all the time.

Sometimes we walk into a meeting or a date with ideas, and halfway through want to flip everything we’d thought.

There’s nothing wrong with flipping an opinion — as long as you give reasons. Also, it helps to call a time out.

If someone was counting on you to have their back, and now they can’t, then just tell them. Honesty tends to put out fire on bridges. You can keep someone’s respect by telling them you’ve changed your mind, explaining why, and giving them a heads up.

Delegating everything you possibly can, badly

There’s responsible delegation, and lazy delegation. A lazy delegator unloads their work onto everyone else with no real conversation. They walk away and don’t do any follow-up. You can tell when someone delegates just because they don’t want to do something.

If you really want to tick someone off, tell them to delegate more when they come to you with complaints about their workload. Don’t show them how, or give them any tools for doing it.

And while you’re at it, give them something else to do.

Lazy delegators also pile more work on people by accident — by simply not understanding their own responsibilities. Everyone else does things for them, but they don’t get any thanks.

Done right, delegating makes your life easier and gives someone else a chance to take on more responsibility. Real delegation is actually more work than it looks like. You have to train and mentor the person. You have to oversee their work and check up on them. And if they let you down, you’re the one who has to step in and fix things.

Exaggerating your own accomplishments

Hyperbole isn’t your friend. This I learned from one of my uncles. If you tried to give him a compliment, he would talk about it for the rest of the day. He would make you regret saying anything.

One of the most misleading pieces of advice is to promote yourself. Lots of us get it wrong. The trick is to state your accomplishments — without overstating them. Use plain language.

Let other people act impressed.

And if they aren’t, then nothing you say or do in the moment will change that. Sometimes you have to impress someone by actually doing things. These are the ones worth impressing. It’s a simple concept: Anyone who has to tell you they’re a big deal… isn’t one.

Dropping the ball on a promise

Making promises and offering favors gains you respect in the short term. It’s always amazing how often people use them to build up their own egos, and then fail to deliver. They don’t even apologize.

If you want a quick way to alienate someone for good, offer them a favor and then forget about it.

Wait for them to remind you a few weeks later.

Then either retract the offer, or tell them you’re too busy now. Think up an excuse that makes you sound incredibly important. While you’re at it, make them feel bad for bothering you.

You might think it’s no harm, no foul to fall through on a favor. But you did hurt them. You saddled them with the emotional labor of waiting and wondering if you were going to make good on your offer. You allowed them to make tentative plans based on it. Then you practically tripped them, and then acted like it was their fault.

It’s not a great idea to offer unsolicited favors in the first place. It’s a better idea to wait, and then hedge. Try a maybe or I’ll see what I can do. If you really want to help someone, just do it. Tell them later.

Be careful with someone who offers bold favors. They probably don’t care a whole lot about you. They care more about how the favor makes them look, and they expect you to let them slide if it falls through.

Respect is counter-intuitive

The best way to earn respect is to give more than you think you deserve. Also, try not to confuse respect with other things.

That’s where a lot of people mess up.

Respect isn’t money, power, or influence. You don’t win respect by impressing someone you barely know with thinly-veiled bragging.

You do it by cultivating relationships, sometimes putting other people’s goals first, honoring your commitments, and letting everyone observe your actions and draw their own conclusions. The biggest secret to respect is to stop thinking about it so much.

Last week I was at a party with a group of friends. We were all standing in a circle in the kitchen. At one point the conversation turned to weight loss. One friend explained that she is a believer in the paleo diet. She lost ten pounds in a few weeks. Another friend said she loved the grapefruit diet and had lost quite a few pounds with that. It was clear that they all found ways they could lose weight but were all there still talking about needing to do it again. I couldn’t help wondering why they never asked what I do to stay thin. I’ve been the same weight for 25 years, give or take 5 pounds here or there (BMI between 18 and 19).

Perhaps they thought I am one of those “freaks of nature” who can eat whatever they want and don’t gain a pound. Maybe they thought I don’t experience the same struggles with food. Or maybe they thought I would judge them for their struggles.

Here’s the thing. All are untrue. I have to be careful about what I eat, or I will gain weight. It is a struggle for me, especially in a culture that is set up for us to be overweight. As far as judging other people, I don’t pay much attention to weight issues in myself or in others. In fact, I’ve felt judgment about my weight. I’ve had people comment when I’ve put on a few pounds, or make comments about what I am eating.

I would have loved to share my thoughts on the matter, so I decided to write them down. I am not a dietary expert. I’m just a person who has found success in maintaining a healthy weight, sharing how I’ve done it. My running coach always said that if I want to be a fast runner, I must get inside the head of a person who is already fast and try to adapt their way of thinking.

So here it is — the things I do to maintain a healthy weight:

1. No Diets

What I would have said to my friends is that I don’t diet. Ever. Even when I’ve gained a few pounds over the holidays. In fact, I fear losing too much weight too fast because I know the dreaded hunger and weight gain is just around the corner. My biggest fear isn’t gaining weight, but getting stuck in the vicious cycle of diet, gain, diet, gain.

2. Exercise for Long Term Results

I exercise but I don’t use it to influence my weight. I think exercise is great in the long term for helping with a faster metabolism, and I notice that when I exercise hard, I get a little hungrier, but for me, the best way to maintain weight is through diet. Exercise is something I do to enhance my life. It helps with staying trim, but more in the long term, over years, not weeks or months.

3. Eat a Healthy Base Diet

I focus on my base diet, which is my every day, normal diet. If I have a good base diet, there is room for eating cookies or chocolate at a party, or as a treat. As a rule, I don’t keep junk food in my house. What is in my normal diet? Fruits and vegetables of course. I haven’t always enjoyed fruits and vegetables, but the more I eat them, the more I appreciate them. I’ve found success with fruit/veggie shakes (the kind where I put whole fruit and vegetables in a blender, fiber and all).

I also eat nuts, almost daily. For dinner, I mainly eat chicken 3–4 times per week and vegetarian meals for the others. I sometimes eat red meat and pork but keep it to a minimum. As for junk food, I save it for parties and holidays, and maybe occasionally otherwise. I won’t lie, every few shopping trips I buy some dark chocolate, but I only eat a square or two a day and I try to make it last a while.

4. Eating Out in Moderation

I don’t eat out much. I seriously don’t know how people who eat out regularly could stay thin. The portions are too large and the food too calorie-rich. I know it is hard because we are all so busy. I am too. However, I think it is important for overall health to learn how to plan and cook good food. I could not cook until well into adulthood. If I can learn, there is hope for everyone. On a side note, I don’t enjoy cooking all that much, but I’ve learned to like it more. I do it for my health.

5. Watch Alcohol Intake

I might get hate mail for this one — I don’t drink a lot of alcohol. The one thing I notice is drinking more frequently causes me to put on unwanted weight. When I do drink, I stick with one, maybe two drinks, but never more. It messes me up for several reasons, I don’t sleep well when I drink, I have more cravings, and I don’t feel my best. Last holiday season, I went to more parties than usual and got in a cycle of drinking wine more regularly. I noticed a higher than normal weight gain. When I took a break from drinking, I lost the few pounds I gained, and I felt so much better overall.

6. Focus On Happiness

I try to be relaxed about my weight. For instance, I don’t weigh myself much — maybe once or twice a year. I try not to focus on the numbers because it puts me in a more obsessive state of mind, which makes me gain weight. Instead, I try to focus on things I can do to make me happier. I believe being thin doesn’t make you happier but doing things you love will. Furthermore, if I focus on my hobbies, I don’t think about food and therefore, don’t battle it as much.

7. Getting It Right Is a Process

If I have a day where I eat too much or eat too many bad foods, I move on and don’t worry about it. Having a good diet is a process, not a decision, so I just try to do better next time. Every day is a new day.

Let me be clear, I don’t expect everyone to do the same thing. We all have different priorities and lifestyles. I am merely expressing what has worked for me. I also believe we all have different body types, and different shapes and sizes, all beautiful in their own way. The article is only about what has worked for me and to encourage others to find their own success without those dreadful diets.

Source : medium

Choosing one of these goals as your focus will produce more money than you could ever expect.

Keanu Reeves rarely talks about money. I scoured the internet trolling through many interviews and videos of him trying to find a comment from him about money.

Why? He has famously given away much of his money to an unnamed Leukemia Foundation and the cast and crew of movies he has appeared in without keeping a lot for himself to buy nice stuff or flaunt his success.

One of the most successful Hollywood actors of all-time doesn’t focus on money. There has to be something in that. There has to be a reason.

Finally, after hours of searching, an interview with Keanu back in 2006 shared his views on money:

“Money doesn’t mean anything to me. I’ve made a lot of money, but I want to enjoy life and not stress myself building my bank account.

I give lots away and live simply, mostly out of a suitcase in hotels. We all know that good health is more important.”

Money adds stress

“Building your bank account,” as Keanu puts it, is stressful.

You constantly have to haggle to make money, work at it, maximize every opportunity, be greedy at times, and make your objective be to make a dollar.

All of that is stressful. The more stuff you own, the more time and attention it requires. Having everything is having peace of mind and that comes from having less. When you don’t have stuff to worry about, you can use your talent to help others the way Keanu has throughout his acting career.

When your financial wealth thrives, another area of your life suffers

This is the nature of life. When you’re doing well in one area of your life, like your finances, another area is suffering. In Lorraine Kelly’s 2008 interview with Keanu, he says “My private life is a boring disaster, but work is good.”

Even one of the most successful actors on the planet has an area of his life that is a disaster. We all do.

A guy I met off LinkedIn who is a lawyer explained to me one lunchtime that he makes millions of dollars from his career and is unhappy. His wife is annoyed with him and his kids never see him. This is another classic example of how money can be a distraction from the things that matter.

An obsession with money has its downsides. Learn how to cap the downsides of money through Keanu.

Money is a by-product

Jimmy Kimmel: “Your movies have made three and a half billion dollars…”

Keanu (abruptly cutting Jimmy off): “They’ve E-n-t-er-t-a-i-n-e-d.”

I have said many times in various blog posts and in a book I’m writing right now on mastering blogging that your job is to be useful and that is done by teaching, entertaining, inspiring, informing, or simply making people laugh.

Choosing one of these goals as your focus will produce more money than you could ever expect. Focusing on money as your primary driver has the opposite effect.

Let money help you live simply

One of the modern-day curses is decision fatigue. There are so many decisions you can make and each one drains your energy. Money multiples the number of decisions you need to make.

The solution is to automate your decisions and you can be inspired by how Keanu has done this.

He doesn’t do social media.

He doesn’t attend A-List celebrity parties.

He doesn’t own lots of houses.

He consciously chooses to ride the subway.

He chooses to have an adventure when his flight makes an emergency landing rather than order a limo and leave the economy passengers on their own.

Simplicity is massively underrated when it comes to money. If you have money or acquire money unexpectedly, use it to live simply like Keanu.

Rather than focus on money, live generously

This is exactly what Keanu teaches us through his actions, not what he says. You live generously not just by using any money you make for good, but by being generous with your time.

If you watch every interaction with Keanu and his fans on Youtube or Instagram, you’ll see that he’s generous with his time. The greatest gift he can give them is his time and attention. You have the same opportunity to live generously.


My research on money comes from being both financially rich and poor multiple times in my life. In the end, money isn’t really that important to me anymore and doing more research on Keanu’s financial behaviors and views on money reinforced that idea.

You can make $20M from Bitcoin, as a friend of mine did, and lose the entire lot through one unfortunate decision. What you can’t lose or have taken away from you — as Nelson Mandela learned when he was locked in jail — is who you are and the person you’ve become.

Live generously whether you have money or not and aim to teach, entertain, inspire, inform, or make people laugh.

That’s how you live the good life that money can’t buy and help people in the process who add joy, fulfillment, and a level of meaning to your life that will make you feel ten times better than money ever will.

Source : medium